Monday, August 21, 2006

Yes, I know it's Monday...

Yes, I know I missed Friday's posting, which is inexcusable since it is called The Friday File. I apologize profusely. Sometimes life gets hectic. I will try to do better in the future, master (grovel, grovel).

I have a lot of readers who have cats, so this will either make them smile or stop being readers. It's summer and time for boating and beach fun, so that means taking the family out on the lake for a spin in the tube. The kids will love it. Just the kids? Think bigger. Mom too? Think bigger. Hmmmm... the pets? Now you're getting it.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

How fast can you type?

I think we all at some point had to take a typing class. I had to take one in junior high, and I did pretty good, but I never did continue typing with the proper technique. I still use two fingers, sometimes three if I really get going. Here's a little test you can take to see how good you still are. My best was 38 wpm. What's yours?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Your PIN number is...

Well, I've always said you could find anything on the internet, and now a website has found and published everyone's PIN number. Yes, if you use any kind of card that uses a 4 digit PIN, it's on this site. Scary stuff. (Make sure you check the site first before you freak out)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Boom! Boom! Out Go The Lights!

I love fireworks. The colors, the lights, the sounds, the explosions. Ah, the explosions. Some of us have a dream of being there when a fireworks factory catches fire. This guy got to live it out, except it wasn't as much fun as you think.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Monday Morning

Ugh! It's Monday and time to go back to work for the week. If you have the morning blues and hate the idea of going back to work, maybe the problem is your boss. Compare them to these bosses, and if they're not as bad, be thankful!

Friday, August 11, 2006

It's Friday! It's Friday

I love short work weeks. I don't love having to get done in 4 days what you usually get done in 5. I think we should make self-policed nap rooms mandatory for businesses. If I ever get elected Prime Minister (I guess I would have to run for office first), that would be a main point on my election platform. The other one would be giving farmers a million dollars each, because they need it, but also to see if they would still complain.

Candy. As kids, we crave candy, and we were always told to eat in moderation because of rotting teeth, bad for you, spoil your supper, etc. I can't imagine eating lots of candy now - the sight of all the sugar just turns my stomach. Here is a list of the grossest candy they could find. I especially like the Hose Nose.

For those of you who have a death wish, you'll love the next story. I don't really know what else to say, except read the headline: Man dies opening grenade with sledgehammer. This stuff writes itself.

Our relatives we stayed with on the weekend had just gotten some kittens, and were they ever cute. They loved to play and run around, but they didn't know how to flush the toilet. Yet.

Want to make some money? Have $100,000 to invest? This guy is auctioning off 2% of everything he ever makes to pay for college. Maybe my Credit Union friends can find an investment opportunity there.

Speaking of investments, here is a great real estate buy: your very own island! Close to Hawaii, great weather, probably great surfing. There is a, ahem, small issue, that could mark this property as fixer-upper, but tell me what property doesn't have at least one issue.

Have a great Friday, everyone!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hungry? Why Wait?

My wife has an old Snickers cap that says, "Hungry? Why Wait?", which describes her perfectly. This fox also has the same motto, as he obviously wants to go the easy route for his meal.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Relax, it only looks expensive

Ahh, the bathtub. Nothing feels quite like a soak in the tub after a hard day. Bubbles, candlelight, and soft music will melt those nasty troubles away. Wouldn't it be great to be able to spend the whole day in the tub, maybe even work from the tub? Dream no more, because your dream is now reality! (although I'm not sure how you'll keep the water in)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Never Take Your Husband Shopping

Well, the long weekend is over, and it's back to work. Maybe you went camping, or like us, maybe you went to a wedding. Or maybe you got a chance to go shopping. I don't mind going shopping with my wife, because she doesn't take very long to decide something. But some women can take forever to try on clothes and make a decision. Really, I don't blame this guy at all.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Summer of Weddings

Well, we're heading to a wedding this weekend, so the Friday File may be abbreviated this time. I'll try to get it done and out the door.

This is a great animation. It appeared on the web a while ago, but it's still really enjoyable.

We've had a lot of rain lately, and there's going to be more this weekend. But the best part of rain and storms is the rainbows. Here are some awesome pictures of rainbows.

Have lots of money? Don't know what to spend it on? Sure, we all have that problem, but how many people have answers? Well, I do. Here is what to spend it on.

We'll be going golfing this weekend, weather permitting. I hope I have enough golf balls, because it's been a long time since I golfed. Should I have 10 extra? 20? 50? How about 3000?

Snakes are really cool. These people do not think so.

And, from the "Too Much Time on Their Hands" department, here is someone who needs to get a life. He's pretty good at pool, though.

Have a great Friday, everyone!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

School answering machine

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School ( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers ' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!